Blog 4 assignment

Dear Mr. Leoni,

It has been brought to my attention that there seems to be a great deal of discrepancies involving payroll checks within the company. I have taken it upon myself to look quite extensively into these errors in hopes to pinpoint the source of the problem. Moreover, I have examined and reviewed the time sheets, time tickets, and computer files associated with the 37 incorrect payroll checks. Having done that, it seems as if the majority of these miscalculations seem to have taken place as a result of clerical errors (35 out of the 37). Furthermore the computer operators are simply taking the information given to them by the clerks and copying the information as it is presented. I regret to inform you that in reference to our previous conversation, having the computer operators perform the very time-consuming task of comparing their entries against the miscopied time sheets seems to be an unnecessary chore that our company simply cannot afford time wise. It would be greatly appreciated if we may stop this error in advance before it reaches the computer operators. Therefore, I recommend that you tell your clerks to review their work carefully before giving it to the computer operators.

Thank you for understanding,

Donald Pryzblo

Manager, Data Processing Department

I believe the revised version of this email is much more reader friendly. The initial email was very harsh in tone and seemed to be more concerned with pointing fingers instead of addressing the problem at hand and in turn finding a solution. My revision is meant to hold a professional tone, yet still get the message across in a way that addresses the problem at hand as well as deeming the correct solution. It is necessary that Mr. Leoni understand that it is in fact the clerks making the error so that he can no longer place the blame on Pryzblo’s computer operators. However, it is important to keep the email courteous so that Mr. Leoni understands the clerical errors and that he is not resenting Pryzblo for pointing fingers-as the initial email was composed. When talking to fellow co-workers it is always important to uphold the interests of the business as a whole and therefore not refer to employees as “your clerks” or “my computer operators” as did the initial email. By addressing the company as a whole it is more likely that Mr. Leoni will realize Pryzblo’s intentions are not to strictly place blame, but to fix the underlying problem as a whole. That being said, I think it is also important that Pryzblo make it clear to Mr. Leoni of whose fault the error belongs to in order to create less chaos. Had he not done that, the business would be using poor time management skills by wasting time addressing a problem that already had a solution. I believe the revised letter holds true to a professional and courteous tone while still directly addressing the points necessary for the betterment of the business as a whole.